Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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