Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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