it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
