She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Sorry about my life...
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
