that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
