all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
