There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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