I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
