I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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