I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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