if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
