He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
