My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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