and you said cock pushups were impossible
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
