I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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