people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
