Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
