I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
