I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
