Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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