it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
