now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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