Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Terrible idea I love it
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
