told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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