Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
