Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
