Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
