Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
When are your genitals available?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
