I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
