I bet he comes in French.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
