So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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