Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
