Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
