So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You dont lie about slip and slides
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
