Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
