we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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