yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
