I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I think a kid would responsible me up
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
