he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
