But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
