i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
