Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
