Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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