she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
