SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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