i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
