I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
