She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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