What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Too much gin, very little bucket
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
