Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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