guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
