I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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