She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
